


You were in the war!

by madasahatter



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, but sherlock knows what he is doing, john likes to complain, so john should really shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 15:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madasahatter/pseuds/madasahatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A 400 word, all dialogue fic in which Sherlock knows exactly what he's doing, but John doesn't think he does. I regret nothing. Rated T for language and some suggestiveness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You were in the war!

"Christ, Sherlock, could you have picked a bigger one?"

"Really, John, it's an average size."

"Average? You call this average? It's enormous, it's going to hurt like a -"

"It was the only one I could find, now  _sit still."_

"There is no way you're putting that thing anywhere near me, Sherlock, are you out of your mind?"

"Oh I'm sorry, is the big bad army doctor  _afraid_?"

"Shove off. Get that thing away from me."

"Really, John! You were  _in the war_ -"

"Yes, I was in the war, and that thing is enormous!"

"It will be over before you know it!"

"That is not what I'm concerned with!"

"This was your idea!"

"Yes, and now I'm having second thoughts. Oh, don't look at me like that! You know what I meant."

"Do I?"

"Don't try and pull this rubbish, Sherlock. It won't work. I don't want it in me, now get a smaller one or we're not doing this."

"Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?"

"Hardly."

"Really John, now you're just being childish."

"Sherlock,  _I don't want you putting that inside me."_

_"_ John, would you please act your age?"

"And what? Not my shoe size?"

"John, would you stop spouting rubbish and let me get on with this."

"Fine!"

"Hold  _still_."

"I am!"

"You and I have very different definitions of the word -"

"FUCK!"

"Oh, it's  _fine!"_

_"_ Fuck, Sherlock, that bloody hurts!"

"It's almost - if you would just -"

"No! Ouch! Buggering -"

" _Oh, would you just -"_

"Sherlock, you have no idea what you're -"

"I know exactly what I am doing, John, would you  _please_ calm down -"

"Dammit, Sherlock, it fucking hurts!"

"Are you quite finished annoying the hell out of me?"

"Oh, I do apologize -"

"It's nearly -  _John! -_ nearly finished, if you would just -"

"Don't know why I ever agreed to -"

"Halfway there, stop being absurd -"

"Stop that, what - are you  _enjoying_ this?"

"Hardly!"

"I knew it. I knew you were a nutter. Serves me right -"

"I will leave it in there, John, so help me I will."

"Sherlock -"

"Look, it's almost done! I just -"

"FUCK!"

"Christ, John. I'm done. Really, who knew you were such a -"

"Shut up and kiss me."

"No need to be rude."

"Why I ever agreed to let you give me stitches is beyond me..."


End file.
